


Winter

by TacticalCupcakes



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28239543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TacticalCupcakes/pseuds/TacticalCupcakes
Summary: Yuri reflects on the past year, and questions what the future may bring.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Winter

Winter’s finally letting itself take hold of the world, unflinchingly snatching up any spare flickers of warmth and whimsy left over from seasons past. Although there are some aspects of this time of year that can spark a comforting glow, the ever-present, biting cold more often than not is enough to force me to sequester myself inside. 

You’d think I’d be more than pleased with this arrangement, given my general set of interests; There are fewer things that are more comforting than curling up under a blanket with a warm drink, a good book, and either a sleepy cat or, luck permitting, someone who you hold close to your heart. 

Despite this, there’s a few things that make winter somewhat scary. In warmer times, you’re afforded the luxury of choosing whether or not you want to stay inside; a night under the stars with a refreshing warm summer breeze is certainly delightful, but having the ability to go for a pleasant walk without having to bring half of your wardrobe with you, is something I always end up taking for granted each year.

However, the thing that preys on my mind the most is how early it gets dark. It can feel like the day is completely over by mid-afternoon or early evening, which makes it difficult to maintain motivation. 

The sudden shift to darkness can become overwhelming at times; I can enter my home whilst it’s still light out, rest for about half an hour, and by the time I emerge again any last traces of light have vanished, dancing away like a snuffed candle.

With how quickly time seems to pass from the beginning of the day to the end, it feels like the week passes by without my notice, then the months… how are we already approaching the end of the year? In the moment, things feel like they take way too long, but I blink and suddenly it’s months down the line. Will I blink again, and before I know it I’m ten years older? Where will I be? Where will my friends be?

I like to imagine Sayori and her childhood friend Emery will have finally embraced their feelings for each other; Honestly, I could see either of them becoming either teachers or therapists. The two seem to have a good grasp on the psyche, accompanied with an exceptional level of patience. I just hope Sayori can be a little kinder to herself; she’s very happy-go-lucky, but every so often there’s a blank gleam behind her eyes, almost as if she’s doing her best to just keep up appearances. For all of her positive reinforcement towards those around her, I don’t think I’ve heard her talk about herself in any kind of positive light. 

_That could just be me overthinking things, though. Goodness knows I’m prone to that…_

And what of Monika? I imagine her being in some executive position, though in what capacity I’m uncertain. There’s a particular level of mystique surrounding her; despite being one of the most popular people I know, there’s still a lot she’s somehow managed to keep private. She displays an impressive level of confidence, and that seems to be perfect for the kind of occupation involving tailored suits and rich desks made of polished walnut, with minimalistic ornaments adorning the top. I’m sure wherever she ends up, she’ll do just fine.

Natsuki… in the time I’ve known her, she’s really flourished. It’s genuinely awe-inspiring how far she’s come since she first took up residence with me; although occasionally she might fall into a bad habit from years past, she’s gotten much better at recognizing the onset of a flashback or other such dissociative episode, and takes care to keep herself grounded. She’s really quite strong; my hope is that eventually she’ll be free from those haunting thoughts swirling around in her subconscious mind. She deserves better than that.

_And although she’s certainly allowed to do her own thing if she so chooses, I can’t deny I would be thrilled if we’d still be living together._

As for myself… I… I’m really not sure. It’s difficult to think about my future when things happen so quickly. It’s scary just how much time has passed without me realizing. Will I still be around to witness the outcomes of these hypotheticals? How will I feel in a further ten years? A further twenty? Will time accelerate even further? What about what happens…. Later? Will there be anything waiting for me? Or will that be another blink away as the world crumbles.

Despite my general interest in the chilling, The prospect of my consciousness evaporating is something I’m truly terrified of. I don’t want things to suddenly come to an end; not when everyone is finally able to be happy. If that were to happen… would anything have mattered? Would it have made a difference if things played out the way I’m imagining? 

Whilst I usually find joy in dark themes, it is the unknown that is terrifying above all. If you see some fearsome creature lurching towards you, at the very least you’ll have some idea of what you’re dealing with. But when it comes to matters of life, where not only am I unaware of the ultimate outcome, but I’m additionally completely helpless to the cosmos… I’d be lying if I said that fear didn’t snap me awake in the middle of the night.

Perhaps that’s why I enjoy reading the sorts of things that I do; perhaps it’s a way of desensitizing myself to the idea, or a way to reclaim that fear by transforming it into something narrative. If I can shift the tone into something that’ll keep my mind occupied and not racing with a number of hypotheticals, maybe I can find a moment to actually pause and think about the future, rather than fearing it.

Or at least, that’s my hope. What’s the truth? 

I suppose time will tell. 


End file.
